Jonathan Ward Durgan
Jonathan Ward Durgan, age 18, is known by many nicknames, including J-Diddy, Jon D, President, and Daddy Durgan. He was born on July 25, 2006, and now stands tall enough at 5’11”. He has blonde hair and smokey mahogany eyes, and he is the son of Patti and Shad Durgan. Jonathon’s favorite food is anything Mexican; his go-to drink is green apple Gatorade. His favorite movies are “Tommy Boy, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Nacho Libre,” and his favorite song is “Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap. In his free time, Jonathan enjoys backpacking, fishing, hunting, and playing Minecraft with Simon. He’s been involved in just about everything at school, including track, football, cross country, basketball, student council, and class president. He’s also active in Unified PE, Unified track, Unified bowling, and Unified basketball. When he was younger, he wanted to grow up to be Adam Sandler. These days, his future goals are to travel the world and be a good father, in the distant future, as he made sure to point out. Jonathon’s biggest pet peeves are period cramps and diet soda. His ideal wife is blonde, has green eyes, is shorter than him, the same age, and is female. The most embarrassing moment he’s ever had was miserably losing Iron Man volleyball in his senior year. If he had one day left to live, he says he would have an Iron Man volleyball rematch. He’s running for Mr. PHS “for the fame and glory,” as Nacho Libre once said, and his chosen talent is karate.
August E. Stern
August E. Stern, also known as Doodoo Bird and Stormrider, was born on November 12, 2006, in St. Paul, Minnesota. He stands at 5’1” with blonde hair and green eyes. His parents are Adam Stern and Stephanie Lang. August enjoys apples and drinks mostly water.
His favorite movie is “Titanic”, and his favorite song is “Sk8ter Boy.” He has a passion for jazz and plays the saxophone, sometimes even upside down. At Park High, August has participated in the Surreal Society, Chess Club, and Intelectuals of Montana.
As a child, he dreamed of becoming wealthy like the Rockefellers. That goal has stayed with him, as he now aspires to be a successful musician and still a Rockefeller. His hobbies include playing jazz, and cutting twine. He has a few specific pet peeves: drummers, dumb people, and people who dislike Anthony Edwards.
His ideal wife is friendly. If he had one day left to live, he says he would “probably just do a bunch of stuff.” He hopes to become Mr. PHS, mainly because it would look good on college applications. His most incredible talent is playing the saxophone upside down, Malco style.
Brinley Baxter Holland
Brinley Baxter Halland, age 17, and is known by the nickname “Bashful Bouncing Badass Brinley.” Born on August 9, 2007, in Portland, Oregon, Brinley stands at a solid 5’6” with brown hair, brown eyes. His proud parents are Gage and Rachel Halland. Brinley’s favorite food is dirt, and he keeps it classy with his favorite drink, tea.
His top movie pick is Django, and his favorite song is “Kid Charlemagne” by Steely Dan. Brinley’s hobbies are just about as unique as he is. When he’s not playing drums or skipping rocks, you might see him backflipping in front of a crowd just for fun. He’s been involved in basketball and track, but when he was little, all he really wanted to be was a dinosaur.
His current goals are to become a session musician. Brinley’s biggest pet peeve is when people aren’t punctual, so don’t be late. As for his ideal wife, he’s looking for someone who’s 17 feet tall, has hair down to her ankles, and most importantly, a massive bank account.
The most embarrassing thing Brinley has ever witnessed was Augie trying to talk to women, something he says lives rent-free in his head. If he had just one day left to live, he’d spend it making every sandwich he’s ever wanted. Brinley wants to be Mr. PHS because, in his words, “Right now I’m just Mr. Halland.” And his chosen talent? A killer drum solo.
Morgan John Sites
Morgan John Sites, 18, also known as “Mr. PHS,” was born on September 28, 2006. He stands at 5’11”, with mocha chestnut hair and hickory umber eyes. Raised by his parents, known simply as Mommy and Daddy, Morgan has always had a unique personality. His favorite food is unpickled sauerkraut, and his nonalcoholic drink of choice is virgin vodka.
His favorite movie is “Veggie Tales: Return to Sodom,” and his favorite song is “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People. He Said, “I’m going to be changing my last name to PHS.” When asked how it would feel to lose, Morgan said, ”Oh, I’m not gonna lose.” When he’s not avoiding “scurrilous wenches” or getting lunch with Eli and Grady, he’s probably just hanging out. His future goals include being beheaded by an evil ruler and becoming a great father. Morgan’s biggest pet peeves are Jeep Rubicons and when people say their “Roman Empire” is anything other than the real Roman Empire.
Morgan wants to be Mr. PHS for the superiority, and the recognition. His talent is comedy.
William Gravley
William “Liam” Gravley is 5’2” with brown eyes and brown hair. Music is a big part of Liam’s life, and his future goals are to become a rapper, an Instagram celebrity, and make a lot of money. To help with achieving his future goals, he participated in a band. His talent for Mr. PHS is performing with Curran Devine, Brinley Halland and guest Hunter Viers as part of a band wearing animal costumes.
Nicolas Smith
18-year-old Nicolas “Nick” Smith is 5’8 with black hair and brown eyes. Some of his hobbies are soccer, running, weightlifting, and trail riding, and he participates in soccer and track. Some of his biggest pet peeves are loud chewing and poor hygiene. One of his many future goals is to run a successful lawn care business. For his MR.PHS talent, he is playing a best friends version of The Newlywed Game with Isaac Winfrey. “We have been friends for 18 years,” Smith commented about his friendship with Winfrey.
Isaac William Winfrey
Isaac William Winfrey is 18 years old, 5’7 with blond hair and blue eyes. His hobby is to play soccer. When he was little he wanted to grow up to be a professional soccer player. Some of his many pet peeves are people chewing their nails and the noise of pencils. He said his ideal wife would be blonde, over 5’4, and looks like Sydney Sweeney. For his MR. PHS talent, he is demonstrating his best friend’s mind-reading skills with Nick, saying “he lived just down the street and we have been friends since we were born.”
Curran Sean Devine
18-year-old Curran Sean Devine is 5’11 with brown hair and brown eyes. His hobbies are music and UFC, and he plays in band. One of his biggest pet peeves is when you use the hand sanitizer but it isn’t hand sanitizer.
